Women of Wisdom

Women of Wisdom attending Dining Under the Stars in Media, PA.

The most wonderful thing about turning 50 is that I finally entered the age of the crone. The wise women stage of life. Many may think of the terms hag or witch upon hearing the word crone but in actuality it is an important part of the three stages of a woman’s life which are known as maiden, mother and crone. The maiden stage of a women’s life refers to the young girl, just beginning to live yet still not yet awake to the ways of the world. The waxing phase of the lunar cycle, when the moon grows from dark to full represents this maiden stage. The mother stage is when a woman brings forth life by gaining knowledge so that she can embark on work or a career or having children. Whether or not she has children, her life is full and abundant. The lunar cycle at the mother stage of life is represented by the full moon. The last stage of a women’s life, or crone stage, is usually reached around the time of menopause. This stage reflects the end part of a woman’s life when she enters the darkness, bringing forth much wisdom and allowing for her final energies in life to bring soul fulfillment if she is willing to take a risk. The waning moon corresponds with this stage.

Becoming a crone requires one to look back over their life to gather wisdom for the journey ahead. During the maiden stage of her life, parts of her may have gotten covered up by a desire to please those around her. She may have forgotten her true early desires, things that made her happy and participated in more socially acceptable activities. The mother stage may have found her caretaking children or working in a career, both of which may have taken up lots of time and further moved her away from pursuing things that validated her. Both of these stages of pleasing and working for others may have kept a woman away from doing the true work of her soul. And unless she does the work to recover her soul’s desires, she may sail right through the crone phase without knowing her real life’s calling.

Hearing your soul’s voice, long covered up, is done mostly in solitude but participating in a group setting with other women can be a great way to jump start the work. It can feel risky to finally find your voice after many years of keeping it hidden but once the thread of awareness is pulled, an unraveling begins that cannot be stopped. This unraveling for me began when I co-facilitated a women’s group called “Becoming Women of Wisdom,” also known as WOW. Our group consisted of 20 women who met monthly and discussed one decade of our lives each month, starting with our childhood and moving along until we reached our “beyond the 50’s” decade. There were corresponding activities which included appropriate poems, meditations, etc…each month but the gist of it was the decade discussions. What amazed me the most was that as we sat in circle and talked about our lives, I discovered my life was not that much different than others in the group. We all had our up’s and down’s and problems with family and difficult times at some point, and it was awesome to have the support of others in the group as each of us worked through reliving our lives.

After the decade discussions, the group moved toward talking about what we were going to do with all our life experiences. How were we going to use the wisdom gained from having lived to go forward and use our knowledge to pursue our true calling. To do the work of our soul. To step away from cultural expectations of those around us, to do what we loved. This work feels risky because we essentially have to unwind all the threads of who we have become that may have been woven due to someone else’s ideas. To walk into the darkness and find ourselves means many times that we must become someone different than who we have been and this can feel scary.

Doing work such as Women of Women is known as soul retrieval work. It usually starts with looking at who you were when you were young and what may or may not have worked to your advantage, then moving on to trying to figure out what your soul really desires and finally making a road map for your future endeavors. There are many more ways to do soul retrieval work both as a group and a solitary practitioner. Many more ways to work toward becoming a crone.

After a year and a half of work, all of the women in my WOW group went on a weekend retreat which culminated in a croning ceremony. The weekend was filled with tears and happiness, honoring one another for the journey we had taken together and for the women we desired to become. Though the program has ended and some in the group have moved away, the women still continue to meet, supporting one another as they become wiser and wiser.

Becoming Women of Wisdom
https://www.uuwr.org/archives/jpdwr/51-jpdwr/377-becoming-women-of-wisdom-new-curriculum-ready